‘Why My Children Don’t Always Have To Be Obey’

Christine is the mother of two (almost) teenagers. Her children are quite stubborn and have strong opinions. They come up with a rebuttal for every task, activity or rule. ‘When I tell them what time they have to be home, they convince me of a later time. When I ask them to do their homework after school, they explain why it is better in the evenings.’ We hear you thinking: annoying! And yes, Christine finds it quite tiring sometimes. Still, she wouldn’t want it any other way. ‘I want my children to be able to speak out, come up with suggestions themselves, be able to deal with conflict and not just assume what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.’

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avoid conflict

As a child, Christine had one clear rule: obey everyone, from parent to teacher. ‘I did what was asked, without arguing. In my rebellious teens, I stood up for myself more often, but only against my parents. Outside of that, I preferred to avoid conflict. And still. If someone calls me Chris – which I hate – I never correct them. I just let it happen.’ Only now that Christine has passed forty does she dare to enter into discussions. “I don’t want my kids to wait that long for that.”

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Not always obedient

Despite the fact that two stubborn teenagers can sometimes be quite tiring, Christine hopes that her children will dare to stand up for themselves. Even if that means they sometimes go against authorities. “I’m not trying to raise disobedient children, but I want them to make their voices heard, engage in difficult conversations in a respectful way, and thereby better understand why some rules exist.”

Source: Scary Mommy

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