Wes is father of four: ‘They don’t have to become copies of their parents’

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Romantic

“I used to see a romantic image of a table full of children and grandchildren. However, a large family was not planned. I had my eldest son and daughter during my first marriage, two children were enough for us. After my divorce I met Rianne. She was so nice with my children and had a strong desire to have children. I didn’t want to deny her that.”

Take it easy

“Age and experience do make a difference in fatherhood. With Lieke and Thijs I was younger and I often wondered if I was doing it all right. Now I am a bit more relaxed and I enjoy the moment more instead of worrying about tomorrow. I now know all too well that the cliché is true: children grow up much too quickly.”

Unique mix

“My children are all different, that mixture remains a miracle of nature. Vince is most like me. In appearance I see my younger self in him, but also in terms of character we are similar. Like me, he is creative and sensitive. Funny: my children are (almost) all blonde, but Manou was the big surprise with her red hair. Has it from my mother’s side.”

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Nice moment

“I really enjoy one-on-one moments with my children, for example doing a puzzle together or getting an ice cream. But even when we are all together I am happy. Rianne and I are quite into impulsive actions: spontaneously packing a bag and driving to the beach. So nice to see those surprised faces.”

“Sometimes the youngest are chatting together and they are completely absorbed in a role-play. Then I secretly listen in and I have to laugh so hard at them. Especially when they try to pronounce difficult words and then mess them up completely.”

Just swallow

“I think being consistent is the biggest challenge of fatherhood. I tend to give in quickly – just allow that candy – to keep the peace, while standing firm is sometimes better, because give them one finger… It was also difficult that Vince and Manou had a hard time with it at first when Lieke and Thijs went back to their mother. They didn’t understand that. At times like these I was disappointed that we are not one family. That remains one struggle as a divorced father.”

That’s how it goes

“We want to teach our children morals and values: how to greet and say goodbye to people, that they don’t throw rubbish on the street. Obviously, but important. And I want to give them space to develop their own identity. They don’t have to become copies of their parents.”

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