Scheduling time for yourself is so important

When your child is just born, all your attention goes to that little bumblebee. Logically. But to what extent do you as a mother pay attention to yourself? Far too little, according to Hanny (37), mother of Jens (6) and Niels (3). “Mothers must dare to choose for themselves too.”

As an online mommy coach, Hanny is committed to mothers who think too little about themselves. She does that for a reason, because she experienced it herself. “I had expectations of motherhood, which in the end were wrong. So I was convinced that I was going to breastfeed. But after a while it turned out that too little milk came out. That made me insecure. Especially if your baby cries all night and you don’t have a drop of formula in the house. My breastfeeding ritual lasted an hour and a half. If you have eight feedings in a day, your half day is already over.”

stress

Hanny sometimes didn’t dare go out with her baby because she was afraid he would get hungry. “It just made me stressed. I walked a lot with him, but sometimes he would cry after ten minutes after he had just eaten. I found it difficult to deal with that.” Hanny heard from the maternity nurse and midwife that everything looked good. So she accepted. “You just became a mother and you have no idea what to feel. So you trust what they say. After six weeks you can have a check-up. She only asked me: ‘how are you and how is your baby?’ They didn’t check if everything was okay physically. If this is the average experience, then I think something still needs to be done.”

Take care of yourself

“At that time I forgot to take care of myself. Before I was pregnant, I exercised four to five times a week. I thought I would pick up sports again after giving birth. To a lesser extent, of course, but I wanted to. In the first weeks I was happy if I could go out once a week. Then you at least have a moment that you can discharge, even if it is only twenty minutes or half an hour. After six weeks you can officially start exercising again, but there is no one to check whether you are ready for that.” Hanny has encountered a lot of herself after giving birth. She realized she couldn’t always do what she felt like at the time. “Many women have an idea of ​​motherhood in advance. Usually that is what they get from their own mother or what they see in other mothers in their environment. Or what happens on social media. But often that doesn’t suit you at all. Every mother is different and you have to find your own way. The only way to do that is to feel what you need right now.”

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To prepare

According to Hanny, good preparation for the maternity period and motherhood is very important. She advises to make a plan in advance and see what you need for that. “Even when it comes to your physical recovery. How do you make sure you get some rest? What kind of exercises can you do in the first weeks? How can your partner support you in your recovery? What do maternity care and the obstetrician do? If you are not properly prepared for that maternity period, you will be lived. If you have a plan, it prevents a lot of stress. And if you’re stressed, so is your baby and that doesn’t help each other. The less stress you experience, the more energy you have and the more patient you are with your baby. For me it helps to exercise and live a healthy life. That gives me energy. I get up on time to exercise so that it is not at the expense of my children. I always thought exercise was important, but now I’ve learned what it does to me. Taking rest and scheduling time for yourself is so important.”

Dare

With coaching, Hanny helps other mothers to prepare well for the maternity period and motherhood. She does this through training, both individually and in groups. “I want to tell mothers that they must have the courage to choose for themselves. Dare to trust that your feeling is good. Ignore all those well-intentioned advice or weird looks you sometimes get from other people. You know what is best for your child and what is best for yourself. If you feel like you need to get out of the house right now because you need to, then you should. Dare to give your child to your partner. If I indicate this to my husband, he also knows that it is better for him and the children. So discuss that with each other, after all, you do it together. Your partner is just as good a caregiver as you are, you don’t have to go it alone. Everything that is outside your comfort zone makes you insecure, but also teaches you the most.”

Would you like to know more about Hanne’s coaching? Then take a look at her website.

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