Pregnant after the first date: ‘the father thinks I framed him’

“Personally, I stick to a rotten chicken sandwich and the subsequent food poisoning, which prevented the pill from working. My son’s father thinks I set him up. That is not true. Because as happy as I am with Dex now, single motherhood is not the compelling, grand life I had dreamed up for myself.

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Carnival night

Four years ago I celebrated carnival with my niece in Den Bosch. At first I doubted whether I would go, because the week before I had had that food poisoning. But I felt fine again, the drinks tasted good and I had a good time with one Mark, a friend of a friend of my cousin’s. We ended the party night with an after party at someone’s house, where I had wild sex with Mark in a room. Not something I normally do quickly, but the drink made me a lot looser. I hardly knew anything about this Mark, other than that he was a great kisser.

I had long forgotten about him when I went to the doctor three months later with all kinds of vague complaints. Nausea, breast pain, weight gain. I laughed away the question whether I was pregnant. No, it is not. I took the pill obediently and during my stop weeks I still had – albeit light – bleeding. To be sure he did a test anyway. And yes, pregnant. And not just a bit, as the ultrasound showed later: I had been on the road for fourteen weeks. Calculating back, I arrived exactly on Carnival night.

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I was shocked. How could this be? Why did this happen to me? And what should I do now? I asked all my friends for advice. In addition, I secretly also felt joy, because somewhere I had a desire to have children. Anyway, I knew I had to look for Mark, because he had to know this. I soon found him via Facebook. That was again a shock: I saw that he had been married a few weeks earlier. Apparently I had been his last splurge before his wedding.

I sent him a message via Messenger. First cautiously, a so-called congratulation on his marriage, I didn’t know if his wife was reading along. To his cool ‘thanks’ I asked him if I could call him. When he refused, I just said I was pregnant with him. He reacted silly, it was impossible that it was his. According to him I was a bitch who went to bed with everyone and everyone. And otherwise this pregnancy would have been intentional. He didn’t fall for that, he wasn’t interested, I just had to solve my own problems.

Single motherhood

I could have done anything: ask for a DNA test, call his wife. But I left it. I didn’t feel like drama. A waste of my energy. In consultation with my family and friends I decided to go for single motherhood. With the help of them I manage, they take care of it where possible and often help. As tough as the decision was, it has been the best choice ever. Dex is the love of my life. The only one too. My wild, active bachelor life came to a halt with his arrival. Dating will come again later.

I never heard from Mark again, but I do know that his wife is now pregnant. I tell the outside world that Dex is from a donor, which keeps annoying questions and judgments away. Someday I’ll tell Dex the truth about his biological father. Then he may be able to contact him himself. Hopefully Mark will not close the door for him. ”

This article can be found in Kek Mama 02-2021.

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