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Patricia: ‘I had so planned to be a happy feminist’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

“Ma-am!” Maria yells as she storms in after a long day of school. I am shocked, because I immediately hear in her voice that it is serious. ‘It’s so unfair! And it’s still International Women’s Day!’

I am curious, worried and super proud at the same time. But even before I can formulate a question that relates to one of my emotions, she starts telling herself.
‘I had a beep test’.
My motherly mind ping pongs through my head, searching for a box that knows what another beep test is. Does it have to do with sex? A beeping show? Have they finally had proper sex education? Explained in biology that the clitoris is not just a button on the vagina, but an entire organ? But then inside and that…
“Mom!” Her words interrupt my thoughts.
So I had to run
‘What?’ What did she have to run for, my mind continues to yodel.
“With gym!”
‘Oh such a beep test. I think we used to call that a Cooper test’
“Ma-am!”, you’re not listening.
“Sorry honey, continue your story…”


Well, my daughter was very angry because the boys in her class got a G of good at three laps and the girls at two.
‘Isn’t that super stupid mom? Like boys are always stronger than us. Phew, there are at least three boys in my class who are much shorter than me!’
She says she has on the spot protested to her PE teachers with the extra remark that it is also International Women’s Day (Bam! Super proud) Her teachers agreed with her, but had to follow a national protocol because boys have a different muscle structure …

“The Patriarchy is fucking alive!”

Then your damn clog will break! The Patriarchy is fucking alive! (little #fail here, because I had planned to be a happy feminist, but things like this just make me very angry) My conclusion is that with these kinds of inequalities, we honor our children of 12 (!) years old in 2023 that boys being different and better at sports. What do you think these kinds of double standards do to girls’ self-esteem? But also with that of boys, because they feel the pressure to perform better.

Breath in breath out. Is it almost March 8 already?

Would you rather listen to Patricia’s column? Which can. Every Friday between 2 and 4 pm she reads it on Wild FM.

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