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‘Our sex life increased sixfold after I told him about my fantasies’

Kirstin (39), lives with Remco (37) and has a son (4).

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“Whether in Game of thrones, Fifty shades or the Netflix series bonding was, I watched the scenes with sm-esque scenes with above-average interest. The thought of being tied up, spanking, whipping and blindfolding got me quite excited. But sharing that with my partner? Not really.

I was ashamed, thought I was weird. Who gets horny at the sight of a pack of rattles? In any case, Remco and I didn’t really talk much about sex anymore. After the birth of son Jimmy, we basically only talked about our child. We were madly in love with Jim, but there was hardly any interest in each other. Let alone a healthy sex life. If we made love once a month, it was a lot.

fantasize

However, there was nothing wrong with my lust. When Remco was on night shift and I was alone in bed, I loved to masturbate. Preferably with a nice bdsm scene from Pornhub on my laptop. I secretly fantasized about being humiliated and beaten by a dominant man. That could never be my own husband, I thought. You could say a lot about Remco, but he can’t kill a spider yet and is a soft-boiled egg when it comes to Jimmy. But that was a miscalculation on my part. That became clear when Remco caught me. At least not live.

There was some dark virus on my laptop. When Remco went to investigate and checked my history, he saw all kinds of references to cool porn movies with names that didn’t lie. Terms like domination, brutal whipping and sex slave flew around his ears. My computer must have been hacked, he said. Well, then I had no choice but to confess to him that they were my own fantasies.

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Fair

At first he was shocked: how perverse was I? Then he got angry. Why did I have solo sex while I the real thing could have? Followed by interest: what exactly turned me on? It opened the door to honest conversations about our deepest sex desires. Together we immersed ourselves in SM-leather.

Finally we started experimenting. First with innocent black feathers, later we switched to nipple clamps and handcuffs. Remco grew more and more in his role and turned out to be a great Master Dominant.

Extended SMS game

Now, two years later, our sex life has increased sixfold. Not a week goes by where we don’t play an elaborate SM game. We have all kinds of attributes, but also special clothing. Remco usually wears a leather suit, I personally prefer a latex suit with long patent boots. We even bought the Liberator Black Label Wedge Ramp love pillow: a luxurious black leather pillow that you can use for special positions, but to which, for example, handcuffs and chains can easily be attached.

As a snack, I like gentle vanilla sex, in which we make love without bells and whistles. But to be honest, I also beg Remco if he would like to bite my nipples or give me a tap on my buttocks. I’m just addicted to the sensation of pain and lust.”

This article was previously published in Kek Mama.

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