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‘My mother is ignoring my parenting rules, should I intervene?’

Monica (28), married to Dennis (30) and mother of Luna (2).

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“Since I had to go back to work after my maternity leave, my mother has been babysitting at Luna’s house two days a week. A luxury, and I am very grateful to her for that. Luna loves her grandma, and grandma takes good care of us too. When Dennis and I get home from work, the food is cooked and the laundry is folded. What you call a grandmother and mother out of thousands.

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Parenting rules

There is only one thing: my mother ignores our parenting rules. Luna eats and sleeps at fixed times. She thrives on that. Go to bed an hour earlier or later, and Dennis and I will be up all night. The eating times are less strict, but what she eats does. We think it is important that Luna does not get too much sugar, and we live a vegetarian life.

My mother doesn’t care about all that. When the playground is fun, she can skip Luna’s afternoon nap or put her to bed two hours later. In the buggy she carries biscuits and fruit juice, things we don’t like. Grandmas are there to spoil, but this is what we suffer downright. Luna is unbearable after so much sugar, and she doesn’t sleep at all anymore. My mother also ignores our vegetarian wishes. When Luna stays with her, she gets chicken nuggets and sausage slices. When I confront my mother about it, she tells me not to whine like that. My brother and I grew up healthy too, didn’t we?

I doubt what to do. Luna can also go to daycare, but I allow her and my mother time together. And to be honest: for us it is also very pleasant. I’m afraid we’re going to squabble forever if I take my mother Luna off my hands. At the same time, the broken nights on the days my mother has been with are starting to break us down quite a bit. Should I intervene more vigorously?

More episodes of the dilemma? Every Tuesday there is a new story on KekMama.nl. Read the previous dilemmas here.

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