‘My mother-in-law thinks I complain too much about parenting’

One day, with two toddlers and a baby in the house, Diana had her mother-in-law visit. ‘While I was short of hands and my husband asked to help me, she told me in detail that she had taken care of her children on her own. After all, her husband was working and she was there for the children’, says Diana.
‘Since then, I have also often heard from others how my generation of mothers is being so ‘dramatic’ about raising our children. And how we make it harder than it is.’

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Heavy and tiring

Unjustly, she thinks. ‘When I was pregnant with my first child, I got a lot of advice from that older generation. But once the baby arrived, I discovered things that no one had talked about: breastfeeding problems, that I’d be bleeding for a month and not wanting to have sex, for example. It just wasn’t talked about.
And that my generation is now doing that – about how hard and exhausting motherhood can be – makes us immediately dramatic? It’s just because people raised children before us that it’s pretended it shouldn’t be difficult.’

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Just before she had her second child, Diana called a friend. ‘She was a lactation consultant and the first to understand me. She said, “Make your husband take a week off to help you. The transition from one to two children is huge.’ I had never felt so confirmed in my feelings. Everyone else acted like it was easy and I shouldn’t whine.’

honest and real

Today’s mothers are anything but dramatic, Diana ends her blog. ‘It is nonsense that the older generation in particular acts as if we should not whine, because children have been raised for centuries. They give the feeling that something is wrong with us. We tell what motherhood is really like: it’s not dramatic, but honest and real.’

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