“A year ago I was enthusiastically tapped on the back by an acquaintance in the street: ‘Well yes Dunja, how nice, a third one on the way?’ It was the classic mistake, and no less painful for that knowledge than for myself. You could say that comment cost me eight thousand euros. Because that was when I decided to go for a mommy makeover.
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If you’d told me before my first delivery that I would one day be sitting in a plastic surgeon’s chair, I would have laughed at you. If you want to feel better, it is better to do something about your self-image than to tinker with your outside, I shouted to every friend who dared to bring it up. Women who take botox do not look as much younger, but especially as women who have taken botox. Anyway, that certainty predates my first delivery.
Not all Doutzen
I understand very well that we cannot all be Doutzen Kroes, who participated in a Victoria’s Secret show six weeks after she gave birth. But a year and a half later I was still not a pound lighter. Despite a pretty strict regime of running twice a week and Bikram yoga once a week and eating no more than three times a day. No diets, no. I suffered from bulima until I was 23 and had been in therapy for a long time. I was concerned that my complicated relationship with food would resurface if I started dieting again. My friend, Guideon, wouldn’t have accepted that either. Besides, I don’t want to be a bad example to my daughter.
But worse than that excess body weight spread all over my body, plus a belly that still looked pregnant, I found my hanging tits. If there was one thing about my body that I’ve always been happy with, it was my cup 75D breasts. Although I am proud that they provided food for my babies twice for six months, I did not see that pride again when I stood in front of the mirror.
I also noticed in bed. I just wanted to make love with the light off and not on top anyway. If I had been sixty, I would have been at peace with that, but I was only 35. My husband could say so many times that he liked me the way I was, the thought of eventually being exchanged for a similar Dunja , but then without sexual inhibitions and with a flat stomach, it started to hinder me so much that it made me sleep badly. ”
‘My breasts hung almost to my navel’>
The intervention of a mother from Isaa’s class convinced me. Before the autumn break she sat like a depressed wallflower in the square, afterwards I had to look three times: was it her, or was it her younger, prettier sister? I made an appointment at the clinic. I would go a long way with a tummy tuck and a breast lift, according to the surgeon. Then I lay awake again for nights, but then because of the money.
Guideon responded positively when I told him what I was considering. He also noticed that I hadn’t been myself lately. But then we did not yet know how expensive the procedure was. Eight thousand euros, while we are already a standard minus one thousand euros. I didn’t have to knock on my parents’ door either. They would have liked to contribute interest-free to a makeover of our house, but not to something like new breasts for their daughter.
Was it worth it?
Of course I had my doubts. Was that money worth it? With this money we could also have celebrated Christmas in Lapland and split the children’s shared bedroom in two. That is why I hardly dare say that I ended up turning our children’s study piggy bank. Those 4,500 euros will come back to the last cent, I have already started repaying: four hundred euros a month, exactly the amount that we have left over since we were able to lower the interest on the mortgage in the meantime.
I could borrow the remaining 3,500 euros from a friend. She stayed with us for a few weeks with her son after her relationship had ended. She was happy to be able to give back. I only have to pay her back when we have more financial space. It was she too who gave me the moral boost I needed. ‘You never give yourself anything, you discount yourself for everything and everyone. If your looks make you so unhappy, now is the time to give yourself something. And your children benefit more from a happy mother. ‘ Guideon agreed.
‘Mommy is very sick’
The term mommy make-over sounds more innocent than surgery. It is a double operation, and I also had complications. I was not able to work for three weeks (at the office they think it was a medically necessary procedure) and two weeks could mean next to nothing for my family.
During Felipe’s birthday party, I lay in bed and heard him say to his friends, “Mommy’s very sick.” I thought, no, you have a mother who needed to boost her self-confidence with a treatment worth thousands of euros. Then I cried a lot.
On October 1, two months after the procedure, I dared to look at the result from head to toe in the mirror for the first time. And I knew that my borrowed money was well spent. That self-confidence did indeed return very quickly, my husband is the first to confirm it. How I feel is again in line with the way I look, that’s what it was all about. Now just let me age nicely, no more polonaise on my body. I estimate that I’ll be paying off for another four years, but it’s the best expense I’ve ever made. ”
This article has previously appeared in Kek Mama.
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