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‘My marriage is a kind of truce, I find love with my lover’

“I swore my kids would never have to go through the pain of divorce. I was eight myself when my parents split up and I thought it was hell. Hans and I don’t have a very good marriage either. Actually, we have never been a good match, but after the birth of the youngest we really drifted apart. Our marriage is a kind of truce. The quarrels we used to make are now useless. We talk about the children and the house, it doesn’t go any deeper. Everyone has their own friends, lives their own life. As a family we still go on vacation and on family visits, that’s all.

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There is no more in it for the time being

I find love with my lover Sydney. He is single and lives behind us. We have been seeing each other twice a week, for a few hours, when the children are at school for the past five years. There is nothing more to it in the next nine years. Hans does not want a divorce either. He can live fine with our division of roles. I don’t work, I take care of the household and the children, which gives Hans plenty of room to pursue a career.

I don’t know whether Hans is cheating on you. He’s bound to have a sweetheart when he’s on a business trip. He doesn’t know I have a lover, I don’t think he suspects anything. Hans once called me frigid, he probably thinks sex leaves me cold.

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‘Our marriage is loveless, not hopeless’

My friends think I should leave Hans, that I should think about myself. But our marriage is loveless, not hopeless. We live in a detached house, both drive a nice car, go on winter sports and luxury summer vacations. The children give us enough distraction and love. I see our marriage as a business in which we run the family together and from which I can occasionally escape with my lover. ”

This story has previously appeared in Kek Mama.

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