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“My life in two words: ‘ordered chaos'”

Photography: Mark Groeneveld

Yolanthe Cabau lives with son Xess (7) in Los Angeles. In this column she shares her experiences as a single mother and career woman.

“Today is going to be awesome. I got this.” It’s Monday morning and on the way to school Xess and I encourage each other with inspiring sayings. Our favorite moment of the day. An hour after I drop it off at school, I’m on twelve-inch heels and a red haute couture dress performing on the film set. If I had to describe my life in two words, it would be ‘ordered chaos’.

At number one

My career is important to me, but motherhood is always number one. Xess and I have a special bond and are super close, partly because I am a single mother, so we are always together.

“Our favorite time together is the morning”

Our favorite time together is the morning. This morning we ate healthy pancakes with fruit and talked about our dreams. Xess dreamed that he had picked up seven dogs from the shelter and Mum thought that was no problem at all!

I think it’s important that Xess has a positive approach to life and everything that comes his way. Recently we were walking on the beach together. I got a little lost in my thoughts and suddenly Xess said to me: “Mom, life is beautiful, we got this.” That touched me so much. Xess has a very special soul.

Read also – Spring (48) is a conscious single mother: ‘Not having children was not an option for me’ >

Take on the world

Sometimes the combination of single motherhood and a career is difficult for me. The past few weeks I worked on an American film. A recording day sometimes lasts up to sixteen hours, and I also have to learn a lot of texts by heart, exercise to stay fit and get enough rest. Then it is difficult to keep a good balance.

“My mother used to always tell me: ‘You can do anything, as long as you believe in it and do your best.’”

I want to spend my free time with Xess as much as possible. Being tired is part of it. I know that after a few weeks of hard work and little sleep things will calm down a bit, but I really want to tell Xess that hard work pays off. My mother used to always tell me: “You can do anything, as long as you believe in it and try your best.” I also try to pass this lesson on to Xess. Keep dreaming and believe in yourself. Then you can take on the world.

This article appears in Kek Mama 06-2023, available in stores from May 30.

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