‘My husband gets a roll stroke when he hears how much clothes I buy for our son’

Maya (6) ‘s Christmas report was not very good. She did not score well in reading and arithmetic, her work attitude could be a lot better and concentration was not her best side either. Yet there were also four crosses – the highest attainable score – on the report. They were for ‘personal grooming’. At the bottom of the list there was room for a personal note from the teacher. In addition to a number of nice comments about her behavior, helpfulness and work attitude, the teacher wrote: “You look wonderfully dressed every day, Maya.”

Appreciation

Maya’s mother Evelien (35) beamed from ear to ear as she read the comment. She sees the appreciation for her daughter’s outfits as the crowning glory of her work. “Every night Maya and I choose the outfit for the next day: from clothes to hair clips and shoes. I browse the internet and we shop in the best clothing boutiques. Everything is equally expensive, but our little princess may cost something. ”

First impression counts

Evelien likes that her daughter’s clothing style is admired. According to her, it’s all about the first impression. It is important. Even when you are six. She shrugs her shoulders about the meager crosses for arithmetic and language: “Maya is still so young. We are not talking about the Cito result here, but about grade three. She will collect those figures. When I compare Maya to other kids, she always looks a lot hipper. I occasionally see girls walking around in their big sister’s clothes. Understandable if you have several children, but Maya is an only child and that means that you buy two new winter coats just a little faster. With just one child, it is financially easier to bring her up to spoil her. ”

‘My husband thinks it’s a waste of money’

Also Mari-Lise (37) has one child, a son whom she likes to spend inordinately new. If her husband knew what she spends on clothes and shoes for Daniel (9), he would have a roll stroke. “Usually I lie about sales or warriors or luck on Marktplaats, while I just went to the Bijenkorf and paid the full price. I cut the price tags off or wash a shirt before I hang it in the closet so that it looks second-hand. ” Not that her husband Steven is stingy or that they can’t afford it, it’s about the principle. “He thinks it’s a shame to wrap a nine-year-old boy in Petit Bateau and Burberry. Daniel is still growing, Steven thinks jeans worth € 180 are just a waste of money. Also because Daniel likes to play football and has not yet mastered the sliding techniques completely and therefore regularly comes home with a hole in his knee. When such pants are just a month old, it hurts. ”

Lack of taste

Her husband is of course right, Mari-Lise admits, but she just can’t resist. “That brown Burberry check looks so good on Daniel. Blonde spikes, white shirt, jeans with turned legs, suspenders and matching sneakers – all together soon seven hundred euros, but then he looks like eating. One of my friends tries to imitate my clothing style. But she has everything come from Turkey, the counterfeit variant of a few euros. You can see from afar that it is fake. I would be ashamed if my child were like that. It says nothing about style or class, rather about a lack of individual taste. ”

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Dresses make you happy

Lack of taste can be the daughter of Marcella (43) absolutely cannot be blamed. “Naómi is now eleven, but as a toddler she already knew what she wanted to wear. As a two-year-old she refused to wear pants. They had to be circle skirts, with tulle and lace and bows. Princess dresses and ball gowns from Oilily and Jottum. “Nowadays she wears jeans from Guess now and then, but a nice dress gives her a gigantic smile on her face. Then she is completely happy and so am I, of course, because I want to do everything to make my child happy. ”

Reception with Prosecco

Marcella has been going to the same children’s clothing store where she is received with Prosecco for years. “The owner texts me as soon as the new summer or winter collection arrives. She keeps a special rack for Naómi behind. Naómi decides for herself what she likes or dislikes. In itself I am not a brand freak, but I do like quality. A T-shirt quickly costs € 90, a dress costs between € 150 and € 190. Well, I don’t even look at the price. I spend a monthly salary in that store, it is not for nothing that I am received with sparkling wine. And that twice a year, in the early and late season. And once in a while when she has something special. ”

Overdressed

That her daughter regularly appears at school overdressed and that people sometimes find that strange, does not bother Marcella. “I have a washing machine, I always say. Whether she is wearing a pink dress or a dark blue shirt, you still have to wash. She went to the shelter once, because she wanted to experience that too. Normally my mother takes care of her, but her friends always stayed and then went to play together on the jungle gym. She wanted that too, but the remnant mothers did not dare to let Naómi play outside. She was wearing a white tulle and lace dress, white leggings and a white bolero. No matter how Naómi said she could get dirty, the remnant mothers wanted to call me for permission. It wasn’t until I assured them I didn’t mind that they let her go. Well, I want my child to look good, but she can be a child. ”

‘People are gossiping about me’

Marcella knows that there is gossip about Naómi’s exorbitant clothing style behind her back in the schoolyard. “The other mothers think it’s crazy that I spend € 2500 on a winter wardrobe. I once told that during a crafting afternoon and then I saw all shocked faces. Ridiculous. I have my own flower business that is running well and can afford it easily. Moreover, it is also a bit of compensation. I work six days a week, every now and then I want to spoil my daughter. Girlfriends go shopping very often, I don’t have time for that. They forget that buying something every week at the H&M or Zara also costs money. I prefer to go to that one shop twice a year, drink my wine, let Naómi try everything on and be ready again for months. And separate clothing has a price tag. I just don’t want her to look like all the other kids in her class. ”

Clothing budget

The Nibud states that children up to the age of twelve cost an average of € 35 per month, after which it is € 50 until they are eighteen. Doesn’t seem very realistic. According to Statistics Netherlands, couples with young children spend a relatively large amount on clothes and shoes. On average 7.4% of the household budget. Bee Tamara (29) and her boyfriend Marco (30) that percentage is even higher. “To be honest, we live well beyond our means.” Tamara is a swimming instructor, Marco works for the fire brigade. “We earn quite well together, but the income is not in proportion to the expenditure on the children. Our twins Mika and Lars (7) are both in football and gymnastics, I pay a fortune in school fees and then they have a clothing budget that is double that of my husband and me anyway. For the boys I buy Vingino, McGregor and Nike, I do it myself with Primark.

‘Child benefit is spent immediately’

As soon as the child benefit comes in, I go online to find the best deals. That € 500 will be gone before I know it. Mika and Lars are actually not worth it. Lars draws on his shirts whenever possible. With ballpoint pen. He thinks it’s funny. Mika accidentally cuts the sleeve of his shirt when he tinkers and prefers to brake on the bike with the noses of his Nikes. Braking with your brakes isn’t cool like that. ”

High standard of living

Tamara laughs about it, but of course doesn’t really like it. “I should really put on a Zeemannetje or Wibra shirt for Lars and Mika sneakers from the Schoenenreus, but I can’t come up with that at their school in Amsterdam-Zuid. Then they are bullied and that seems terrible to me. The standard of living here is high. Children are brought in with Range Rovers and Teslas and dress in the latest fashion. Anyone who is not wearing the very latest Nike Air Max does not count. These are shoes of € 145 that they can wear for half a season if they are unlucky. And then we also have twins. The boys grow out of their clothes at the same time. To keep it still somewhat affordable, I take my chance in the sale or outlet centers, occasionally I search on Marktplaats for second-hand branded clothing. And if there really is no other option, we will be in the red that month. ”

This article has previously appeared in Kek Mama.

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