‘My daughter (9) hates it at the out-of-school care, can I leave her at home alone?’

Milika (35) lives with Jan (40) and is mother of Milou (9) and Daniël (6).

“With a thud, Milou threw her backpack into the hallway. ‘Like this. This was the last time, I won’t be going after the summer,” she said, her arms crossed with determination. The whole school year has been a struggle. Milou was having a great time at school, but she found the three days of after-school care a drama. It was simple, I told her over and over, Dad and I just had to work, and in 5th grade we thought she was really too young to go home alone.

Home alone

But now she’s going to group 6, after the summer. She won’t be ten until May next year. I myself was the same age when my mother gave me the key to our flat. And so the question arises: will my daughter be independent enough next school year to be home alone after school? Times have changed, the world hasn’t gotten any safer since I was nine myself. What if she gets hit by a car on her way home? Or, distracted in her child’s play, wanders the streets for a long time?

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On the other hand, she has a cell phone, she can always reach us. And less can happen at home than in the past. We do not have a gas stove but induction, causing a fire is almost impossible. We live in a terraced house with retired neighbors on either side, who might want to keep an eye on things. I just got used to the idea that I can leave her at home for an hour while I do the shopping, this is another big step in the Great Letting Go. With some friends, even 11-year-old children still go to out-of-school care.

‘Just try’

Jan thinks we should just try to leave her alone for half a day this summer. If that goes well, we can cancel after-school care after the summer. That she should not go out to play on her own when we are still at work is an agreement that we can of course make. My mother’s heart still has to get used to it. Is nine years too young to leave my daughter home alone three times a week after school?”

More episodes of the dilemma? Every Tuesday there is a new story on KekMama.nl. Read the previous dilemmas here.