Since Marlies has a new boyfriend, she seems insatiable sexually. While Pieter and she actually don’t do anything special.
Marlies (40), relationship with Pieter (40), mother of Fenna (12) and Milan (8):
“Shortly after my divorce, I was given a tour of a working relationship at a location unknown to me. I had already created a certain image of him on the phone. His name was Pieter, he was in IT and I assumed it was a huge goat wool sock.
In real life he turned out to be a very attractive, nice guy with whom I immediately felt a sexual click. I heard through another colleague that he was also single. That offered perspective. Still, it took another year before we got back in touch. I was too busy dealing with the divorce and lived with my ex in one house for a while, not posh to start dating.
“I lived with my ex in one house for a while, not chic to start dating”
But Pieter stayed in my head. We had become Facebook friends and I noticed some interest on his side as well; he liked more and more of my posts. Once more settled, I invited him with an excuse via Messenger to have coffee somewhere together. Because of the lockdown, that became a beach walk and coffee to go. That was early 2021. More dates followed and a spark flew. Since then, we’ve been in a long-distance relationship that mostly happens on weekends because of my kids.
I have been together with my ex Guido for eighteen years. We knew each other since we were 21 and had two children. I was the one who wanted a divorce. We didn’t fit together anymore, we had both developed very differently over time. I am ambitious and active in associations and networks. Guido was a committed father, but very introverted, boring and not a sparring partner for me at all. Worse, all attraction was eventually gone. We only did it on high holidays and holidays.
I struggled with my decision to divorce. Didn’t want to destroy our family. But during our last weekend away without children, in a hotel in Maastricht, I clearly felt that we had to stop. Guido saw the outing as the opportunity to have some old-fashioned lovemaking again, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I realized that I really didn’t feel like having sex with him anymore, nor did I want a marriage of convenience. Divorce seemed the only option.
That attraction is very strong for Pieter. I was immediately a hotel guest. I still feel like a teenager in love when I walk next to him or sit on the couch. It took a while before we actually shared the bed. The first dates he always returned to his own house at the end of the evening.
I once stayed neatly in his spare room during the curfew period. I didn’t necessarily need it, but Pieter turned out to be a real gentleman who wanted to wait for the right moment. That came a few days later, when he ate with me. I didn’t have an extra room for him and that night we shared one duvet and finally had sex too.
“After eighteen years, I had to get used to a different male body”
After eighteen years I had to get used to a different male body. I found it thrilling: I’m not the youngest anymore and my body is not so tight after two children. I also didn’t dare to expose myself completely those first times. It took me a while to tell him which buttons gave me the ultimate climax and what I liked.
By now I am so madly in love with Pieter that I can’t get enough of sex with him. As soon as I snuggle up to him in bed, I’m excited. Whether in the morning or in the evening. Also because I’ve been sleeping naked since I’ve known Pieter. That is very beneficial for your sex life. You are in the mood faster.
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I share co-parenting with my ex for our children aged twelve and eight. That’s nice, because it means I have all the time for Pieter on the days that they are with him. In the beginning, we used to have 12-hour sex marathons when we saw each other. The longing for each other caused an almost insatiable lust.
That is still the case and we have quiet sex six times a weekend, but we do more activities outside the bedroom. Have a nice breakfast, go for a walk or he will cook for me. I recently introduced him to my children. This allows us to visit each other more spontaneously. I feel less free with Fenna and Milan around me, but on Sunday mornings they often play downstairs and then we can go about our business undisturbed.
A lovemaking with us starts with a long foreplay of kissing and cuddling and lasts an hour. The special thing is that we don’t do anything special at all. Real home-garden-and-kitchen sex, just like I had with my ex. Not necessarily different positions or with attributes. But the chemistry is so much stronger and Pieter almost always manages to bring me to a climax. I don’t need toys at all. Maybe because of the novelty, who knows it will come someday.
“I lie like a starfish in bed, pure to receive”
Between the sheets, Pieter is a real giver. I sometimes feel very passive next to him. I lie like a starfish in bed, pure to receive and consume. He loves oral sex, gets very excited about satisfying me and says he enjoys it when I’m having a good time. I sometimes asked him if there was anything he was missing from or about me. But so far there have been no special requests.
We did talk once about fantasies as a threesome. He was open to it if it ever happened that way. I absolutely do not, I have more than enough with him. Dangerous subject, so I soon stopped talking about it.”
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This article appears in Kek Mama 08-2022.
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