‘It was the best day of her life’

Image: Getty Images

Lotte, Monique’s daughter, had the day of her life thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She was seriously ill at the time.

Monica (48): “We discovered by chance that Lotte – now seven – was ill. I had been taking her to the hospital for years: she was a bad eater, didn’t grow as fast as her twin sister Selma and when I picked her up from school, I suddenly noticed how crazy she was walking. On her tiptoes, with a hollow back. She was tested, got a brain scan and, to rule everything out, an MRI of her spine. There they found a tumor. It had nothing to do with her complaints, but turned out to be malignant.

Because Lotte’s tumor had spread to the vertebrae, she was immediately a high-risk case. About 25 children a year get this type of tumour, of which only eight children survive.

Difficult time

I couldn’t believe the diagnosis. The realization that it was reality only came once the treatments started. Lotte has had everything: chemo, stem cell transplant, radiation, immunotherapy. Still, I always said she will get better, I stayed positive.

While we were in the hospital with her, my mother took care of Selma and my older daughter Celina (25) and son Kevin (28). At that time, Selma was often angry in class. She felt abandoned. “Mama is always gone,” she once told my mother. To which my mother explained that it was because of Lotte’s illness. ‘Yes, but Lotte sees mom very often,’ she said at the time. That was hard.

Make-A-Wish

In the children’s hospital, the Princess Máxima Center, I came into contact with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, a foundation that makes wishes of children with a serious illness come true. They soon came to our house to get acquainted and to ask Lotte what her wishes were. She was not doing well at the time, but she knew what she wanted: to be a princess, with a car, a carriage, a castle – things she has dreamed of since she was very little.

“She said to everything: ‘This isn’t real, is it? I’m sure I won’t get a real carriage, but a toy carriage’”

We set a date with the foundation: just after the immunotherapy. In the meantime, Lotte was included in the preparations for the wish day. She said to everything, ‘This isn’t real, is it? I’m not getting a real carriage, but a toy carriage.’ She also kept asking why she got this day. “Because you’ve been in the hospital so many times,” I’d say.

Selma was just as happy about it, she was also completely involved. We received a booklet about Princess Sterre, the princess who would be present on her wish day. I had to read that book ten times. That time, those weeks of preparation, that was a very nice period.

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The evening before

The night before her wishing day, I bathed the twins. I walked down between businesses and saw Clint, my husband, that something was up. He was acting funny with his arm, getting stuffy, walking in and out, grabbing his chest. He said there was nothing, but decided to drive to the hospital himself. A little later he called: he had had a heart attack and had to stay. He immediately added that Lotte’s wishing day had to go ahead. As intense as it was, I agreed with him.

The morning of the wish day, I first called Clint at the hospital. It went well, and I was able to let it go. We’ve been through so many problems, I’ve become so strong because of it. I had to.

The wish day

The doorbell rang, and there was a man in a pink limousine at the door. There were also four of Lotte’s girlfriends, all in princess dresses. All the girls were open-mouthed looking at the pink car. They were so happy, on the way they immediately started singing and eating chocolates.

“She is a very sweet and gentle girl, but now she was in the front: go, it’s my party”

We arrived at a castle where Princess Sterre was waiting for us. Inside the children could do crafts, there was a chocolate fountain, they were made up. A photographer walked around them: Lotte was also allowed to take pictures, which she found very interesting. Then they rode around in a carriage. People on the street took pictures. ‘I’m famous!’ exclaimed Lotte. She did very well. She is a very sweet and gentle girl, but now she was in the front: go, it’s my party.

Keep an eye out

She was so cheerful and happy, but I also saw that she was getting tired. I kept an eye on her all the time. I enjoyed it, but also worried a lot. Although she was declared ‘clean’ at the time, her scan also showed a discoloration that the doctors could not yet place. And she still had her hickman back then, a catheter that sits close to her heart. She is not allowed to run with it, and I was always afraid that she would bump herself. I tried to stay close to her to keep her from falling. My eldest daughter, meanwhile, called my husband. Of course I kept thinking about him too.

Lotte had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Once at home we ate something, and I drove with the girls in princess dress to the hospital, to their father. It was nice to see it going well. Clint never says much, but he was proud, he thought they were beautiful.

Improvement

I always knew: Lotte will get better. That also happened, she was recently declared healthy. Her hickman is out, she can run again and go to the pool. Still it remains exciting, she will be checked in three months and we don’t know what we will see then. Clint is still not fully recovered, he will soon be operated on his heart again.

Lotte is now carefully going back to school, today she participated in gym class for the first time in a year and a half. She has a lot to catch up on. Just before she got sick, she got a new bicycle. She still has to learn how to ride a bike on it. And she still has to take swimming lessons, she can’t read and write yet, while her sister and friends are now in group four. I don’t hear her about it, luckily.

“Although things are really getting better, I still feel that great concern”

She still talks about the wish day. She still lives very much for her. It was the best day of her life, she says regularly. Recently she came back from a day out to amusement park Julianatoren. “That was fun, but Make-a-Wish was way more fun,” she said at the time. She just doesn’t want to be a princess anymore but a photographer, because of the pictures she was allowed to take on that day.

Although things are really improving, I still feel that great concern, especially now that she is going back to school; I don’t have that at all with Selma. But if Lotte coughs, I can already be shocked. That will take a while, that will take time.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 12-2022.

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