‘It is very annoying for a woman if control is taken away from her during childbirth’

In recent weeks it has been in the news about care during childbirth, and mainly about making a cut, yes or no. It’s good to keep things like that in mind. It is very annoying for a woman if control is taken away from her during childbirth. Of course there really are exceptions. When things go badly with the baby, for example (or with the woman herself). But it is common knowledge: women who feel that they have been taken away from their control, look back on the birth with a less pleasant feeling.

Keeping control during childbirth

Last week I was chatting with two colleagues for a while. One pregnant, the other mother of two. We talked about giving birth and before we knew it we lost track of time and I was picked up by a student who was waiting for me. Start with a mother (to be) about giving birth, and you have a topic that you can easily talk about for hours. Everyone has a different story, good or not. We all know women who had a horror birth, but we also know women who thought it was a piece of cake. Almost every woman, no matter how old, remembers giving birth. It’s such a milestone in your life, so grand and special. It is an event that will stay with us forever. If you have experienced something unpleasant during your delivery, you will not forget it. That is why it is so important that you – if you can and succeed – can maintain control. Intervention by a healthcare provider can sometimes be perceived as unnecessary (again, with the exceptions), and I do understand that some women suffer and love that. Of course you want your baby to be born healthy, that is not even up for discussion and everyone understands that. However?

‘Of course you want your baby to be born healthy, that is not even up for debate and everyone understands that. However?’

Read also: Niki is grateful for the cut during her delivery: ‘Otherwise my son might not have survived’

Reactions don’t lie

Anyway, recently there was a lady who told her story. She said she had been cut unnecessarily and was still having a hard time with it. A lot of physical discomfort and nothing had been discussed, which made her feel like she had lost control. Every sane person knows that a complete conversation is not being held when a cut is needed, but it is usually neatly indicated by healthcare providers. Even when the situation is stressful. This time it had not been the case and that did not feel good for the article writer. Then the Facebook moms came sailing around the corner. Gerda said that there used to be no nagging about it. Another lady said: what a bummer. What has to be done has to be done. Another responds with: Oh, fuck off dude! (because that’s so nice and normal to say) Don’t complain about a cut or a jab. Yet another: Then you get a nice total rupture, bitch. Or: I did it all five times on sheer strength. I didn’t need a cut (applause to this super mom). But then this: You want a dead baby, sure?

Let’s talk about it

Many comments on Facebook are debatable. Rude, stupid, unkind or hurtful. As if the mother in the article would have preferred to give birth to a dead child instead of being cut. What inspires you to respond in such a way to an article in which a woman tells her story honestly and in doing so probably dares to express what many women suffer from – not having control over their birth and their bodies.

“It would be to our credit if we didn’t call other mothers who look back on their childbirth with a bad feeling”

You will never forget a birth, even if you gave birth to six children. I had three dream births and they are the most special moments of my life. Every birth is unique and special and it would do us mothers credit if we didn’t call other mothers who – for whatever reason – look back on their birth with a bad feeling. It is important to be able to talk about it with each other, because that is nice with other experts by experience.

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