‘It hurts that my daughter doesn’t want to play with her brother anymore’

It is now a familiar image, says Elaine: “My nine-year-old son sitting on the floor, in front of my daughter’s room door – his big sister, who is almost eleven. He’s waiting for her to finish Facetiming her friends so she can play with him again. ”

Elaine knew that day when her daughter feels too old to build LEGO worlds with her little brother would come. “But I didn’t know I’d be so sorry to see him miss his playmate.”

Strayed

Elaine’s children are very close. “Both in terms of age and emotional bond,” she explains. “This is mainly because they have experienced something that most children will not experience: their father became ill and died.”

They are crazy about each other, but at the same time they also argue from time to time: ‘A lot of arguing. But despite that, my son is still in the hallway every week waiting for his sister. He won’t admit it, but he really needs her. ‘

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Elaine notices that her son feels a little lost without his sister. ‘He doesn’t really know how to play alone. Maybe he’s not even sure if he wants to. Sometimes he asks for my help to get her out of her room. ‘

Doing your own thing

Fortunately, her daughter doesn’t complain much. She usually agrees to play with her little brother, even if she doesn’t feel like it much herself. She probably does that to help me too – that way I finally get to things that as a single mother I don’t have time for otherwise. That already shows that she is no longer a small child. ‘

Secretly, Elaine, like her son, would like to keep time with her daughter. ‘I just want to enjoy every little bit of’ little child ‘that she has in her. But I know the reality is different. My little girl is growing up and doing her own thing – and my son and I have to let her go. However difficult that is. ‘