“Is it okay to go away as parents for a few days on your child’s birthday?”
Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
“Is it okay to go away as parents for a few days on your child’s birthday?” This question from a friend keeps running through my head. Now it’s almost Halloween so it’s good in itself, but at the same time I don’t want to be a witch.
Quarrel with the teacher
Perhaps it would be nice for you as a reader to know that I first showed this column to my girlfriend before I sent it to the editors of Kek Mama. In my columns I try to stay as close to the truth as possible, but I also don’t want to hurt people or argue with, for example, a teacher. The latter sort of happened last year.
During a ten-minute conversation, I was suddenly the subject of conversation. The teacher had read my column, but felt that from now on I should first consult her story. “Real journalists check their source.” “Well,” I told her. “My little source was so convinced of her story that I mistakenly checked no other source. Apologies.” shit…
Judgements
Okay, getting back to “my ghost”: So I tried really hard to turn off my “I’m trying not to judge” feeling, but after asking myself if I would go on vacation myself as my kid birthday and the answer turned out to be no, I still found it difficult.
The whole incident reminded me of my father. My planned cesarean section and his golf tournament in Spain happened to be on the same date. Whether I would mind if he joined my maternity bed a day later. I answered ‘Yes, er, no of course’, but at that moment I had decided that I will be at all the births of my children. Whether I was offered a super special free moon trip from Elon Musk or not.
Loving memories
In fairness, I’m forced to say that when I think back to my own childhood, my birthdays weren’t necessarily the best when it comes to special memories. My most loving memories have been the random moments. For example, the time my mother took me to a riding school on a cold Tuesday for the first time. Or when I laughed so hard with my grandmother at a neighbor who slipped and she told me she had peed her pants. I cherish those moments more than my birthdays.
So is it really that bad to take a few days off as a parent on your child’s birthday?
My girlfriend is a wonderful mother. I’ve never seen a parent so ridiculously patient. And the love for her children, by definition, shines through. Also on regular Wednesday afternoons. So who am I to judge?
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