‘I’m really doing what I like now’

Image: Getty Images

“My own father was the big absentee in my youth. He had a good job at an oil company and was almost always abroad. My mother took care of me and my brother and as well as she did, I missed my father. ‘That’s how it was then’, my parents say now when it comes to it. But I believe you have a choice, even then.

Stop working

I wanted to do it differently myself. From day one I wanted to be there for my children. being real. I am not good at dividing my attention and tend to get lost in things easily. In my work, for example, even though I didn’t like my job very much.

So when Kim was pregnant with the eldest, I jokingly said: ‘I’ll stop after the birth.’ “That’s good,” Kim said and after a few weeks of thinking it was settled. I would take care of our child until primary school age – from the youngest, because we already knew we wanted several children – and then we would see further. Kim loves her job and continued to work for four days. Everyone happy.

Also read – Stop working: “Do you know that the 1950s are over’, a friend asked’ >

Stay-at-home dad

It was as easy as it sounds for us. But not for our environment. I had to listen to the necessary ‘jokes’ – I was a gold digger, I was covered, the lowest place on the monkey rock was mine. Great, I ended up laughing the loudest of everyone because I’m doing exactly what I like now.

‘I couldn’t do it’, I heard, and I often hear, but I don’t believe it. I think anyone ‘can’ do it. And funnily enough, several male friends and acquaintances have also said that they are jealous. They would also like to spend more time with their children, but their obligations and responsibilities prevent them from doing so.

“Several friends have also said that they are jealous”

I partly understand that, partly I think: these are also choices. Kim and I live in a simple terraced house, drive a car from 2009 and go to the Ardennes with the tent during the summer holidays. We have no money for expensive holidays, two cars or a detached house. That is a consequence of living on one income, and we accept that consequence.

Financial commitments don’t have to stop you from spending more time with your kids, but you should be willing to deal with the consequences. I have little problem with that myself, because there is so much in return. I just as easily load the children onto the cargo bike and drive to the cheap supermarket – I still have enough time.”

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