‘I’m not afraid to fail, I’m not afraid to be rejected’

Bien has moved to Italy with her love Arjen and their children. She talks about their new life there.

Buongiorno

‘What do you want to do today love?’ Arjen asks as he brings a whole wheat croissant and coffee to bed. It’s half past nine and I’m just as tired as after a night out. I had a house party with my kids last night. I rocked the youngest until half past three. ‘Leave me alone today, go and do something fun with the kids’, I say in a hoarse voice. ‘Let’s drive to a new beach in the direction of Taranto’, he responds cheerfully for the time being, and he kisses my forehead.

It’s been a tough week, even in such a beautiful place as here, parenthood continues to test us. That’s life. And with temperatures between thirty and forty degrees and palm trees in front of our door.

Barolo is teething and he was really sick the past few days, he had contracted a virus. Not so surprising with a brother and sister who hand out all kinds of things that he then puts in his mouth. Fleuri fell full face flat on the square and had a deep cut on her lip with all the consequences that entailed, Brunello had been stung by some big insect, without giving a kick and we suddenly found out when his arm started to swell.

Last night we slept together maybe two hours. I feel completely drained after hours of breastfeeding because that was the only way to silence Barolo. It seems like I have breast implants a size 450cc, with boobs as hard as a football and a sour-smelling shirt of milk. It doesn’t get any more attractive.

While Arjen is sifting through the area around Taranto online and checking how we are going to drive, I take a shower. I’ve been taking cold showers every day since we’ve lived in Puglia – it’s great how that alone really makes you feel better. I blow-dry my hair extra nicely, put on a little terracotta powder and put on my new linen dress I bought from Sisley last night. ‘You look so beautiful, honey’, Arjen says when I walk into the room. As long as we’ve been together, he’s been making those sweet comments and they’re worth gold to me. That he continues to see, admire and compliment me, that makes a relationship nice and valuable.

No matter how tired we are, how hard we sometimes have it… We are a team, even after a night of whispering arguments about who should get up and provide the kids with water, comfort and a change of diapers.

Vintage designer bags sale

Before we emigrated, I started an online vintage sale on Instagram of beautiful designer bags from rich women from Amsterdam. Many of our neighbors had a collection that was a bit decayed in the closet. “If you can sell them, we’ll make a deal,” my neighbor said. Fine I thought. In the end, I also sold all my branded bags within a week and noticed that the bags I sold were in high demand.

I noticed how much I enjoyed trading these and to this day I sell bags including Chanel, Louis Vuitton and more.

I’m not afraid of failure, I’m not afraid of being rejected. The louder you shout that I can’t do something, the more inclined I am to prove otherwise. I am a full-time mother of three small children, but I also want to be an entrepreneur and continue to develop my creativity. I don’t like to put people in boxes. Do what you love – even if that’s a hundred things. As long as it makes you happy it’s always worth going for it.

Pablo Escobar

“Mom are we going now?” It’s starting to take too long for Fleuri.

OK. Let’s go. We pack our bags and leave for the beach. We are expanding our area and this time we are not driving towards Torre Canne where we are usually to be found, but we are going to discover the other side of the area and drive towards Taranto. Seems to be beautiful.

The first part was beautiful, green, lots of coniferous olive trees and a beautiful long straight road to the coast. Driving there gave us an intense feeling of happiness.

At one point we arrived at the tip of the heel, called Massafra. Massafra is a commune in the Italian province of Taranto (Apulia region) with a population of 31,242 inhabitants. All the shutters were closed as we drove through the streets of Massafra. There was not a person to be seen. It felt raw. Really still that old Italy like Naples used to be. Also wonderful to see and realize how ruined we are with our attitude. Arjen jokes: ‘Well honey, shall we book a hotel here?’ Just to let you know with humor that he also finds it a bit exciting.

We have already seen so many parts of Italy, met so many people and then every now and then you get to a part that really feels like you are very far ‘from home’. You literally step into another world. Afterwards we spoke to someone who said that that part is still very much in the hands of the mafia and that you as a Dutch family should not necessarily drive around conspicuously. Take a little detour next time before our outing turns into a Pablo Escobar episode.

It was well worth the drive, because once they arrived at the beach the children ran up the beautiful white sand to the insanely beautiful sea. Just like in Sardinia, which remains shallow for an endless amount of time and is therefore very nice for swimming with children.

We stayed all day, the children bobbed for hours in the sea and to this day I can’t believe that we live here in such a beautiful environment, with sun every day and the most delicious focaccia e caffè.

Be here. Hopefully you never get used to it, it’s magical.

Bacio Bien