I only got really good at it because of my kids’

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It’s easier to say no or not to be easily upset during negotiations at work: these women have also benefited from their parenting knowledge at work since they became mothers.

Marieke (44), buyer, mother of Esmee (10), Daan (8) and Casper (4).

“Negotiation: I’ve taken courses and read books about it. However, I only got really good at it because of my kids. Reading minds, making compromises and solving problems: I do no different at home. Impasses and rising emotions are also a piece of cake for me.

Negotiation tactics

Recently again; I was standing in a crowded shopping center with my hysterical toddler. The weekly groceries in heavy bags in my hand, at least five minutes late for the eldest’s hockey practice, and also forgot a pack of rice. And that’s exactly when my toddler is done with it. Case screaming on the ground. Fortunately, I now know what to do with this. Making eye contact, distracting a bit, joking in between, naming emotions and hop, we can continue.

So the same tactics also work very well during negotiations at work. The business relationship that still upsets me must come from a very good house.”

Also read – Clean up first, then chocolate: negotiate with your child >

Question

Carolijn (41), marketing manager, mother of Jasmijn (6), Veerle (6) and Bram (2).

“As a mother of three, I am constantly questioned. Children have to do everything, but in the end they often turn out to be things they just want. Children make no distinction in their questioning. As a mother you have to figure that out for yourself.

Just try

At some point you learn: there are things that are really important to them and there are a lot of things that they would like, but nothing more than that. In the meantime, I’ve developed an excellent bullshit radar. Want to cuddle and read together after a long afternoon at the out-of-school care? I’ll do it right away, because it’s really necessary. But on Saturday morning necessarily to the playground? Nonsense! They like it just as much in the garden. They just try, who knows, I might bite.

This is exactly the case with colleagues. “You must do this for me.” Nine times out of ten that is total bullshit. Of course it’s nice for your colleagues that you put that presentation together, but they can do that themselves, right? There is undoubtedly work waiting for you that is important and with which you really put yourself in the spotlight. Oh, how much time I could have saved myself if I’d discovered this sooner.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 08-2022.

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