‘I feel like a bad mother because I don’t want a second child’

Since our daughter was 1, my husband and I have regularly been asked when Liv will have a brother or sister. Although I think it’s bizarre that I have to justify the fact that Liv is an only child (‘that’s sad for her, isn’t it ?!’), I didn’t mind those questions at first – I could not express our deferred wish for a after all, for a long time throwing on the broken nights that made us crazy. But now that Liv is sleeping around the clock at 2.5 years, our family is running like a well-oiled machine and many people in our area are expanding their families, they make me insecure.

Freedom

My husband and I valued the freedom we had when we were not parents. We regularly went out on spec and sat in our favorite restaurant every weekend. The fact that suddenly nothing could be done ‘spontaneously’ (and that we did not sleep a night continuously for over two years) made a big impact for both of us. Yet my husband has been ready for a second one for months, but the only thing I can think when I see on social media that couples are expecting a child again is: do they not find parenting difficult? Why can they? And does that make me a bad mother?

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Shame on you

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy our little girl. From her talk, her cheerful character and even her naughty moments. But also about the idea that after a long time I have found my way as a working mother and that we have more freedom after the tough baby age. So do I want a second one at all? I wouldn’t know with God. And I’m ashamed to say that out loud.

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