Help! Our child caught us having sex, now what?
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We managed to get the kids to bed, turn off Netflix and stay awake long enough to finally be intimate with your partner again. You’re just getting passionate when the door squeaks open and you hear the dreaded “Mama?” belongs.
It is perfectly normal to have sex with your partner, and it will therefore regularly happen that you are caught red-handed by your child. That doesn’t make it any less annoying, but it also means you don’t have to panic if it happens to you. There are a few ways to make things less awkward for you and the kids.
The sexiest time
If your child complains that he hears noises, mother Kate has the tip to say – with a wink – that he is lucky that you still want to do that together. (The question, of course, is how lucky your child considers himself).
Another tip Kate shares is, “My new tactic is to have sex when the kids have been out for a while. It makes us both much more uninhibited! Nighttime is a dumb time for sex anyway… daytime, when the kids are guaranteed to be gone, is the sexiest time!”
Also read: Finally sex again: ‘We close the windows first, so that the neighbors do not hear my screams’
Ultimately, it’s important to keep your response simple and honest. Instead of starting a big conversation about sex, use simple sentences to acknowledge the situation and move on, such as, “We had sex, which is something grown-ups do. We keep the door closed because it’s private, but annoying if you heard us.” or “Yes, you heard we have sex, which is something grown-ups enjoy.”
Are the children still very young and do they not understand what they have heard? Then reassure them with simple phrases like, “It may have sounded like we were hurting each other, but we had fun as adults. Annoying if you were shocked by this.”
Difficult enough already
You can also ask questions and simply say, “If you want to know more about sex, we can talk about it.” Using the opportunity to engage in a discussion is likely to have the opposite effect. Dr. Emily Kline, clinical psychologist, mother and author of The School of Hard Talks: How to Have Real Conversations with Your (Almost Grown) Kids does not recommend using such a moment as an opportunity to teach them about sex. “Learning about sex is hard enough without immediately imagining your parents doing it!”
Shame
The best way to handle this kind of situation? Dr. Kline advises parents to make sure sex is already an open conversation within the family. “Keep books that describe bodies, puberty, and sex in the home so kids have an idea of what sex is from an early age,” she says. Kline recommends choosing books that reflect the information and values you want to share with your children. Make these books part of the stories you tell or read to your child. “Put them in the collection and read them as bedtime stories mixed in with the fairy tales and books about dinosaurs,” suggests Kline. “This really lowers the stakes of one big ‘sex talk’ and the chance of embarrassment.”
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Source: Scary Mommy
