‘For weeks I made work of the swimming teacher, until I went blue’

Anne (40) is divorced and mother of Liselot (6).

“For weeks I have been working on the swimming teacher – short hair, strong and sturdy body, tattoos everywhere. I was sure she was watching me, too, so just before the A-certificate swim I mustered up my courage and approached her before class.

With perhaps a little too much bravura, I asked: ‘That women’s party in town next Saturday, surely you will be there too?’ The swimming teacher stared at me with wide eyes. ‘Women’s party? For pots, you mean? Get say no, and that’s also my husband and I’s regular poker night.’

After this double rejection, on not only my flirtation but also my sexual orientation, I have been hiding deep behind a magazine ever since during swimming lessons. I’ll pick up that nice woman later. At a women’s party or something.”

Boiling point

Hanneke (42) is single and mother of Guus (14) and Freek (12).

“I only flirt online, because live I’m way too shy. For example, I once matched with a chef who also loved music. I asked what his hob was. The Kooks? The Naked Chief? Milkshake by Kelis? I was on a roll, thought I was very funny and kept associating. While I was still typing, the match was canceled and his profile picture disappeared from my frame. Apparently he had burned too quickly.”

Read also – Summer blunders: ‘In my best French I asked the camping father if he believed in dildos’ >

The dating jungle

Sarine (44) is single and mother of Cleó (8), Frédéric (6) and Matthieu (3).

“After a year of worrying about my divorce, my girlfriends thought it was time for me to go on a crook’s path again. That’s how it happened that I had a date – on Sinterklaas evening, of all places – that I knew as soon as I entered the café that it wasn’t going to be the one. But it was my first Sinterklaas without children, I was happy with the distraction and was flattered by his flirtation: he clearly liked me.

“I was a bit teasing, hoping to find each other in humor”

In my mind I cleared my throat, straightened my back and decided that this was at least a nice exercise to tackle the dating jungle. Now I’m pretty articulate myself, but I blame it on the wine; Before I knew it I was making one witty remark after another. I was a bit teasing, challenging him with sharp remarks hoping to find each other in humor.

But after an hour my date said, “Sorry, but I’d like to checkout, I think you’re a little insulting.” Reluctantly, I agreed, never to hear from him again. Fortunately, the subsequent dates were a greater success, at least I now knew what not to do.”

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