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Caught during the sexiesta: ‘The curious neighbor was enjoying himself from behind his window’

Lenny (38), married to Barry (44), mother of Isabella (12) and Hidde (9): “Holiday parks always select Barry and I based on the presence of an entertainment team; the best solution to be able to read a book or have some nice sex. Such was the case in France.

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Isabella and Hidde had gone to the clown workshop after lunch. After a few roses we withdrew for a while for some sports and games in the sleeping cabin. We had barely started when we heard yelling and singing. A procession of all the painted children had formed and apparently our daughter found it funny to walk right through our awning. I also heard Isabella calling for me in surprise.

We didn’t have time to get dressed quickly. We held our breath and pretended we weren’t there. Fortunately, the procession was over after a few minutes. But from now on we will zip up the awning first when we withdraw for a while.”

What are those butts doing here?

Lucy (31), married to Johan (40), mother of Bo-Anne (4) and Mees (1): “Long before we had kids, my husband and I hit the beach in Benidorm one evening. cracklingly romantic. We only had eyes for each other and so missed that a sand shovel was coming right at us. Until the intensely bright lights of that mega machine out of nowhere shone my husband’s bare buttocks.”

And the bed said ‘crack’

Nathalie (43), married to Sander (45), mother of sons Vesper (12) and Botaz (10): “Our two sons still think it’s the joke of the century: Mom and Dad who fell through the bed during a pillow fight on vacation.

We were on our way to the south of France and had a stopover in a small, ramshackle two-star hotel. The boys shared the room next to us and later said they heard the bang and thump. Sander had me a little too wild on it twin beds thrown, after which we both fell straight between the mattresses and through the bottom. Of course we didn’t tell our children that it was not a pillow fight, but a violent lovemaking. The same innocence we played at the reception. Non, aucune idea what caused it.

Fortunately, it went off without a hitch. It didn’t have to be insurance work, cried the friendly owner. He put a few planks under it so that we could continue sleeping. A (painful) lesson for us. We were left with a bruised tailbone and a big bruise, plus a damaged ego. We’ll think twice before romping wildly on a strange bed.”

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Goodbye neighbor

Inge (35), living together with Nick (30), mother of Nikki (4): “On holiday in Italy it was really hot in the hotel room. The air conditioning was broken and impossible to fix. We had put our baby in her bed in the bathroom, there it was still somewhat manageable. We sweated out the – too cramped – double bed.

So Nick and I dragged all the sheets to the balcony every night to continue sleeping there. That was a great solution. It was dark, fairly cool and very quiet. A perfect moment for a lovemaking. we thought. But we hadn’t taken into account a curious neighbor who had been enjoying himself from behind his window one evening. When we ran into him at the pool the next day, my cheeks were ashamed.”

An itchy mystery

Suus (33), living together with Martijn (33), mother of Doris (9), Pepijn (7) and Lot (5): “My brother got married on an estate in the Dordogne and a large house was rented out where we could stay with all the family and supporters. Our kids had the time of their lives with all the nieces and nephews. The evening before the memorable day, Martijn and I took a break together for a walk in the woods.

Half way through we were kissing so much that we went for a quicky on a soft spot in the sand. Apparently I was lying right on an anthill. From red ants. Because of all the excitement, I didn’t feel it until after being bitten for the fourth or fifth time. I shot up, shouting ouch. Martijn thought it was because of him, so he stopped me at first.

We soon discovered where we had been so comfortable and saw the effect on my back. It was covered with red spots. Small at first, later they developed into thick bumps that spread over my shoulders and neck. Apparently I was also severely allergic to those red bits. At the local pharmacy Martijn got an anti-itch cream the next morning. But it couldn’t prevent me from performing my duties as a witness during the wedding ceremony with a measles-like rash. And I just act surprised to the family. Were they mosquito bites? bed bugs? I supposedly had no idea how I got it.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 08-2021.

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