‘Before I knew it I became a kind of free shelter’
When your home turns into a free shelter or full-time motherhood doesn’t quite fit, it’s time for a change.
Zeynep (36): “Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I consciously chose it when my son was born six years ago. He is an only child, so it was important to me that he played with other children. From preschool I had children over almost every day. Fine, I thought the situation would have been the same with a brother or sister.
The fact that everything was allowed at my house and everyone was always welcome quickly spread like wildfire. Before I knew it I became a kind of free shelter, where it was sweet raid seven days a week. I barely got around to my own planning.
Fifty-fifty
When I fell ill six months ago and asked the parents of friends to take care of my child, I was more often told no than yes. Then I decided: dates can be half the time with me, the other half of the week elsewhere. It’s a relief. Often my son does not want to see other children at all. Then we watch a movie together or just mess around a bit next to each other. Cutting back on dates has brought peace to both of us.”
Read also – ‘Stay at home mom is also a job’: why you should just put that on your CV >
Full time
Sandy (35): “It was with full conviction that I chose full-time motherhood seven years ago. But I developed postpartum depression, got pregnant again before it was over, and spent three years miserable. Not just because of my mental state; my suddenly quite small world was also very disappointing to me. I loved my children, but missed my job. The place for myself and the intellectual challenge.
I have been working full-time for three years now, my children go to daycare four days a week and I am my old, happy self again.”
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