‘After years of trying, our IVF attempt was finally successful’

Marion (39), married to Patrick (43): “We received a redeeming phone call. The transfer will continue! We had just gone through an entire IVF process in which only one embryo had emerged from the only egg found. Some people have as many as twenty, I had one. Fortunately, that one embryo could be transferred back. Two weeks later I was allowed to have a pregnancy test done in the hospital in the morning. In the blood they can see if there is an increase in the hCG hormone (human chorionic gonadotropin that is produced by the placenta during pregnancy, ed.).

Pregnancy test

Between noon and one o’clock I was allowed to call the hospital for the results, but of course I couldn’t wait that long. I just had to know if it had worked out this time. That’s why I got a pregnancy test from the drugstore myself. A test that not only indicated whether, but also how long you were pregnant. If I had already succeeded … When I had taken that test, the screen almost immediately indicated that I was one to two weeks pregnant. My response was disbelief. This could not be done, could it?

When I then called the hospital for the results, the fertility doctor said that the hCG level had indeed increased, but that there were still two ways to go. She would have preferred me to come back in a week. I mentioned that I had also done a test myself, but the doctor remained cautious: “We will see how this has developed in a week.”

Unreal

Despite my positive test, I lived between hope and fear. And because I didn’t want to wait another week, I decided to have blood taken again that Monday. When my doctor called me that afternoon to tell us I was pregnant, Patrick and I thought, Now what? I expected us to shout from the rooftops with joy, but we were both rather timid. Patrick said this: “Mar, I don’t feel very happy at all.” I said, “Me neither, really, but how is that possible?”

We then called the doctor to ask if it was normal for us to feel this way. She agreed: “You have been in the process for two years and the moment you finally get a positive result, it’s all so unreal.” That was exactly what it was. We just couldn’t believe it had worked out now. As if we were on our guard: is it really the case?

Trajectory

After all, when I got pregnant with Charlotte, now eight, it hadn’t happened automatically. At the time, we went through a whole process. There was no reason a pregnancy would not work. Charlotte was born from the second iui attempt (intrauterine insemination, ed.). When we wanted to go for a second, no preliminary research was needed. After all, we already had that with the first. We also told Charlotte that we would like a brother or sister for her, but that this did not happen automatically and we had to go to the hospital often. Of course she was young, but she’s a bright girl. In the end she experienced everything very consciously.

Disappointment

After nine unsuccessful IUI attempts, the doctors wanted to start the IVF process. From day one I have been sober about it. I always thought: we will continue until we succeed. People sometimes said: “It’s like talking about your neighbor, you talk about it so lightly.” I had to inject hormones and then they checked how many follicles I had. If you have three follicles, you will be given permission for IVF.

When I arrived at Carolien, my fertility doctor at the Tergooi Hospital in Blaricum, I joked: ‘Well, I wonder what kind of chicken coop it is in there’, referring to the many eggs there would be. But Carolien said: ‘Marion, I have some disappointing news; we don’t have one. ‘ I didn’t get it: none? How is that possible? “It stops now, because then there is nothing to get with a puncture,” I heard her say.

At that point I thought it really wouldn’t work anymore. It made me sick. For the first time in the entire process, I was really disappointed. Yet at that time I never thought: just look at it, I’m going to lie under my duvet. Of course I was sad, but I was able to quickly regain myself and think: on to the next. Also for Charlotte; for her I wanted to be the nice and sweet mama I was before.

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‘After a long hospital journey of six years, I spontaneously became pregnant’>

Golden egg

In the summer of 2018 we had another puncture and then they found two egg sacs, one of which was very small. My doctor said, “Marion, we need at least three egg sacs for IVF, but we’re going for it.” I was there in the hospital recovering from the puncture while Patrick went to the VU in Amsterdam with those eggs. Once there, Patrick handed in his seed, which they then put in a glass with the eggs. The seed had to swim to the egg itself until fertilization was there. When Patrick got back to the hospital he said, “Mar, they only have one.” That was a huge downer.

One day before the planned transfer, we called the VU to ask if conception had taken place. We were told that embryo development was delayed. And that we had to take into account that it would not take place. That moment was so sad. I thought: it won’t work now. Fortunately, the redeeming phone call came a day later: the replacement went ahead anyway! As my fertility doctor Carolien described so beautifully recently: ‘You just had a golden egg from which a beautiful embryo was created.’

Child prodigy

When I heard that I was pregnant, I was suddenly also afraid. Could I still do it: raise a baby? And I wondered if I could love a second as much as I could love a first. I now know that this is the case: Rosalie is our child prodigy. I am so in love with her that I sometimes feel guilty for not being full of enthusiasm and joy at the beginning of the pregnancy. Only after the 20-week ultrasound and the results of the NIPT test I could let go of everything and really enjoy this pregnancy.

Patrick and I were both very down to earth throughout the process and always kept hope. I am convinced that our positivity has been the relationship savior. Stress affects everything. Still, I think if it hadn’t worked out, Patrick could have put it aside more easily than me and I don’t know what impact that would have had on our relationship. Fortunately, fate has decided otherwise. After two years of trying it was still successful. Ultimately, I experienced the process as very positive. If I were a little younger, I would do it again for a third. ”

This article is in Kek Mama 16-2020.

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