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“A fleeting French kiss should be possible according to her”

Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

‘You can write a column about it!’, she called after me. My thoughts are like a ball in a pinball machine, torpedoed from side to side. I honestly don’t know what to think of her argument or whether I’m allowed to think anything of it at all.


I’ll take you into what my girlfriend just told me, but first sketch a picture; she is a mother and has a loving relationship. But after years of being together, they both confessed that kissing someone else might add some extra excitement to their lives. No sex, but a quick French kiss at a festival should be possible. While my girlfriend continues to explain the basic rules to me, I see that there is more to it. She’s beaming, but in a slightly unusual way… ‘So he’s the first of us to kiss now,’ she continues. Only it wasn’t at a festival, but in our own city with a friend. I hang on her every word like a disaster tourist. ‘But’, she says, ‘we are more in love than ever’. I’m confused and luckily my girlfriend sees that too. She explains that he is shocked. Scared of losing her because he misinterpreted the rules. But now it turns out that this whole event has given them a deep connection with each other again. Lots of sex and just eyes for each other for a while.

New norm?

Beautiful. But my thoughts are still flying in all directions, because should I also suggest that to hubby? Should this become the new norm? I mean monogamy stems from a capitalist past and I am generally in favor of change. Anyway, there’s no scientific evidence that open relationships are inherently harmful or good, but I think the success of any relationship depends on the communication, trust, and mutual understanding two people make with each other. I give my girlfriend a hug and go home with monogamy and a column as my goal.

Would you rather listen to Patricia’s column? Which can. Every Friday between 2 and 4 pm she reads it on Wild FM.

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