‘In youth football you lay the foundation for sporty behaviour, don’t you?’

Ellen is a counselor in secondary special education, a thriller author at publisher De Fontein, mother of Lewis and Miles (11 and 8) from a previous relationship and gave birth to daughter Sophia with her boyfriend Nils in November.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have been going to football for years. I’m now ticking twenty-five years.
My boys have been playing football themselves since this season and they really like this. But there is something about football that is quite worrying, and that starts with the youth teams: lack of respect. Or perhaps more accurately: antisocial behaviour.

Spicy party

Last Saturday my dear father whistled the game of Miles, who plays football in the boys’ under-10 team of the local association. With those young kids, that is still called a game leader, not a referee. There are very few rules, but it was a tough game. My father was very busy. The opposing team had a number of ‘khoppertjes’ in their team and they had also left their ears at home. Annoying for my father, who voluntarily stands there whistling on Saturday mornings as a grandfather.

“Shit-at-you” attitude

You often hear that children on the field do not listen well to the game leader and later to the referee. They turn their backs, make big mouths, make throwaway gestures, and have a general “shit-on-you” attitude. Where does this behavior come from? The referee is the one who sets the rules and as a child you just listen. Point.

In amateur football – and certainly among the youth – it is volunteers (often fathers or grandfathers) who do their best and contribute. Isn’t it the parents’ and trainers’ job to stop this behaviour? Do you act like this? Fine, then don’t play next time. Those consequences must then be borne by the parents.

Nils whistled a game a long time ago where a child was unruly and kept kicking other children. He sent the child off the field, rightly so, but the annoyed parents did come to get a story. Isn’t it wrong here? Don’t you lay the foundations for sporty behavior in youth?

Lifted over the horse

Unfortunately, there are too many bad examples. Even the biggest clubs have spoiled, disrespectful, over-the-horse footballers who – in front of an audience of millions – misbehave towards a referee as soon as they are called to account. Kids just see that “shit-on-you” attitude during football games on TV. Just this weekend, a referee received a big move from a footballer, and with a red card we often see that the entire team is furious at the referee. Sometimes really intimidating, very close. In other sports that is unthinkable! What kind of an example do you give to the youth, when you, as a professional football player, behave in this way towards the referee?

“Children just see that ‘shit-to-you’ attitude during football matches on TV”

Respect

Football clubs need volunteers, but I can imagine that the flush gets thin when you are completely ignored or abused on your Saturday or Sunday morning. Then you think twice if you feel like whistling. With a lot of bad luck you will find a daubed car afterwards, or with the most bad luck you will get a blow. What is it about? If this behavior is not suppressed in youth, it will go completely wrong when those guys are sixteen or seventeen. It starts with the parents, but when they are screaming along the line like a bunch of tokkies and rejecting all decisions of the game leader or referee, all hope is lost. Respect in football, we are not there yet. Or is the total lack of respect – throughout society – actually the problem…?

More Ellen? Follow her on Instagram. You can read her previous columns here.

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