“Is it my fault that I have a difficult child?”

“I think it’s my fault,” she writes on Motherly.

Uncertain

Am I spoiling my daughter too much? Are we giving her sister more attention that makes her feel left out? Are we watching the wrong things on TV? Has Netflix Ruined My Child? Or is it a reflection of my own personality? These are questions that immediately cross Marie’s mind when she can glue her daughter behind the wallpaper again. “I know it is not necessary to be so insecure, but it still happens,” she writes. “Whatever choices I make, I continue to feel guilty.”

Healthy development

Psychologist Daniel Weisberg recognizes this in many mothers and has an important message: all these behaviors are part of the normal, healthy development of your child. ‘Resist himself and say’ no ‘to everything, it’s just a part of toddlers’, he says. ‘And that your child gets angry because he doesn’t want to wear red but yellow socks? That’s normal too. ‘ According to Weisberg, the brains of toddlers are still so developing that their behavior does not always rhyme with the situation at that time.

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Trust

As parents, you cannot change a lot, but you can give your child confidence, according to Weisberg. How? By focusing on the good rather than the bad behavior. “Praising your child for eating half a fish stick is so much more effective than punishing him for the two and a half pieces he didn’t eat,” explains the psychologist. Don’t ignore the positive aspects of that moment – that your child is sitting still, for example. Or have a knife and fork been used very well. This gives your child self-confidence. And he can develop into an emotionally strong person in complete freedom. ‘

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